Online Dating is Like Going to Marshall’s

You have to look through a lot of junk to find the quality.

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Online dating is like going to Marshall’s. You have to look through a lot of junk to find the quality.

If you are patient, you can find it. Sometimes you get really excited because you think you found the perfect one and then you realize it has a hole in it and you have to put it back and keep looking.

There are so many choices and distractions. Have you ever walked into Marshall’s looking for carry-on luggage only to find yourself in the Home section convinced you need another frame, candle or kitchen gadget?

How about the Nike sportswear? Did you see the comforters? That sign is so cute! I don’t have a baby but that is so soft, who can I buy that for? I liken this experience to people on dating apps who are looking for a person between the ages of 40-55, within 30 miles of their home, and they spend hours swiping right on 25 year olds who live in another state.

Even when you are serious and set realistic filters on a dating site, you are still faced with racks and racks of profiles to look at. So how do you do it?

Buyer beware, like going to Marshall’s, don’t do it when you are tired or hungry. Pick a time of day when you are relaxed and able to make good choices. Start looking and reading, it’s okay if you want to look at the pictures first, but I challenge you to experiment sometimes and read the words first.

If the person appeals to you send a message- not a heart, a smile, a like or a wink, instead, send a genuine message.

Comment on something you saw or read in the profile. Ask an open-ended question that invites a response. Send nice messages and tell yourself you are sending good energy into the universe. Be thoughtful, be funny, be you, but don’t send a dissertation.

Send as many messages as you like, it is a numbers game. You may be thinking, wow they are perfect, and they may not even see your message. Trust your gut, if something feels off, stop communicating.

Like Marshall’s, dating sites are hit or miss. Sometimes you find what you are looking for, others times you get nothing. If you have the right attitude, you can meet interesting new people, make long-lasting friendships, and maybe find love.

You will certainly learn a lot about people and yourself if you take the time and do it right.

Do you want to raise your clarity and self-awareness? Coaching can help you become more intentional, empathetic and caring to yourself and others. Call Galia!

Continue the conversation by leaving a comment on The Good Men Project.

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